Adrift
by craptvisme
Summary: Janet and Eddie are living separate lives. What will it take to get them back together?
1. Chapter 1

It had been about 6 months since Janet had spoken to Eddie. The thought seemed weird to her. How was is possible to go from spending every waking moment with someone, to never having any contact with them just six months later? When these thoughts entered her head, it always took a few seconds for the reality of her situation to sink in. They didn't have any contact because he hated her. He hated her because she cheated on him…with Rooster. Right. Every time the memories came back to her, it was like sitting in that hospital with him again. She could hear his words as loudly and clearly as she had that day.

"Get the hell out of my sight and go find somewhere to rot. Because the captain of the football team, Janet, is rejecting you. Get out of my room. 

He continued to scream, "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" until she left.

It really hadn't gotten any easier for her to think about. The real issue was that he had been right. 

Even though they hadn't spoken to one another, she had _seen_ him. As a matter of fact, he was currently in the other room with yet another beautiful blonde coed on his arm. His third this week. It was as if he picked the exact opposite girl as her. They were all tall, beautiful, skinny and stupid, and he seemed to take extreme pleasure in trotting them out every night at Sully's. It didn't matter that they were technically different girls--the college afforded him an endless supply. To Janet, they were all the same; her worst nightmare come true.

Eddie couldn't believe he was spending another night out at Sully's this week. He was exhausted. It was quickly becoming clear to him that he was not 23 years old anymore. Far from it. The last six months had aged him tremendously. He longed for the times not so long ago, when sitting home watching a movie and eating take out were the most exciting events on his week's schedule. He wanted to find someone that enjoyed those things too. He suspected he had been barking up the wrong tree with the last dozen or so girls he had taken out.

Eddie turned to the beautiful woman next to him and asked, "What's your favorite movie, baby?" 

She stumbled for a second and then answered, "Um…I don't know, probably, Titanic. I was about 7 years old when that came out and I had the biggest crush on Leo. He's awesome."

She missed Eddie's eye rolling.

"What's yours?" she asked.

Janet had been eavesdropping on their conversation for a few minutes under the pretense of wiping off the cocktail tables near theirs. 

She didn't even think before she turned to the blonde and said, "Rocky. He loves Rocky."

Eddie heard her answer before he even had an opportunity to answer for himself. Janet was right, of course, but he wasn't sure what made her think she could speak for him anymore. 

The blonde turned to him and said, "Why does that bartender know your favorite movie? Is she your sister?"

Eddie began packing up his things and said quickly, "No, she's not. I don't know why. Maybe she's been sticking her nose where it doesn't belong… again."

He gave Janet a short disapproving glance and walked himself and his date directly out Sully's front door.

Janet went back to work cleaning up the bar. It was torture having to work around him, but she couldn't bear the thought of working somewhere where she wouldn't get to see him at all. 

As Eddie went to his truck and opened the passenger door for his date, he thought about all those nights he and Janet had spent cuddled up on the couch together watching movies. For those seven short months he had felt so at home with her, so relaxed. It was a feeling he was afraid he would never find with anyone else again. He knew for a fact that he wouldn't find it with his flavor of the night, Tracey. He hated the movie Titanic with a passion. 

He remembered out loud, "So does Janet."

"Who's Janet?" Tracey asked.

"Nobody important." He quietly answered as he pulled out of his parking space and headed to Tracey's apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

Janet headed home from Sully's that evening with a heavy heart. 

"His sister? Ack." She said out loud to her reflection in her rearview mirror. 

In the time since she and Eddie had broken up, Janet hadn't really thought about anything far in the future. Aside from what clothes to put on after a shower, what to eat once a day and feeding her fish, she used every moment of **every day** thinking about how she'd destroyed her life and all likelihood of any future happiness. She thought about all the consequences to her horrific actions. Her rift with Eddie was by far the worst, but there were other things that she had caused with her indiscretion. Losing Eddie had meant losing Owen, Ikey, and Nick as friends and she missed feeling like a part of the gang. Phil was the only friend of Eddie's that was still willing to speak with her. Of course, he lived with Eddie and never left the house, so continued contact with him was all but impossible. Janet sensed that he was the ONLY person besides her that actually wanted them to make up and get back together. 

She also realized that her friendship with Rooster was through. She couldn't possibly forgive him for taking advantage of her, but she did sometimes miss their easy banter and late night talks. Rooster had been there for Janet when no one else paid attention to her and for that she would always have a soft spot in her heart for him, but the friendship was most definitely over.

As Janet entered her dark apartment and bent down to pick up the mail strewn across the floor, she felt lower than she ever thought was humanly possible. Lower than the day Ikey had jokingly coined the nickname, "Janet the Planet" in high school biology. Lower than when she dolled herself up and waited for Eddie to pick her up at Sully's for Alison's birthday and he never came. Lower even still than that day in the hospital when she'd seen him start crying and screamed for her to leave. 

As Janet contemplated all of these things and flipped through her mail, she noticed a catalog sticking out from the bottom of the stack. It was the latest course listing from the University. She reached out to drop it into the garbage at the end of her counter, but something stopped her. It was the headline:

_**Looking For a Way to Change Your Life?**_

"Yes, I believe I am." She said to the empty room.

_**Look inside!**_

She quietly said, "okaaaay." as she opened the catalog.

Janet immediately began pouring through the listings on the pages. She took time to really read the topics and course descriptions one by one and began marking the classes that looked interesting to her. 

After high school, Janet started attending classes at University. She'd been a photography major and really loved it. When her mother got sick halfway through her junior year, she gave up school to take care of her full time. After her mother's death, she had been so sad and so off track that going back to school to finish didn't even seem like an option. So, Janet had asked Sully if she could pick up a couple shifts at the bar in an effort to pay her bills. Sully was a good friend of Janet's mom and saw what her death had done to her daughter, so he was more than happy to help out. He'd always thought that Janet was better than slinging beers at his bar, but she was really good at it and all the customers loved her, so he let her stay on.

Five years later, Janet was still at Sully's, her camera was still put away in the closet, the darkroom in the garage was dusty and she was miserable. Enough was enough. Something has to change.

Janet popped up from the couch and headed into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. When she returned to the living room, she settled into the couch and began plotting out her new two-year plan. 

The first area of life to focus on was education. Back to school, back to her first love: photography. Taking pictures was once the thing that kept Janet going. In high school when things got tough and people treated her poorly, she was always able to find beauty and joy in the world through her lens. Nothing got her as excited as finishing a roll of film, waiting for it to develop and heading into the dark room. She couldn't remember the moment that she had allowed it to take a back seat. Photography may have changed a lot over the last 5 years, but Janet was confident she could pick it up and love it again. Finishing school would not take her more than a year and a half going part time. Completing what she'd started all those years ago would put her life in the right direction. Finding a career she loved and could be proud of was what she needed to set her soul straight. Luckily her living costs were low. The house she lived in had been her mother's and was paid off, her car was seven years old and only had two payments left on it and she still had most of the money her mother had left her in her savings account. Paying for school would not be too much of a stretch and she was confident that Sully would be flexible with her schedule so she could continue working.

She also wanted to improve her health. Not losing weight per say, but treating herself better. This included regular check ups, consistent activity and eating right. All the things that she neglected to do for most of her adult life, but especially in the last six months. The thing with Eddie had thrown Janet for such a loop that most days she didn't care what she ate or when. She hadn't slept a complete night since she'd been alone in her bed and exercise definitely took a backseat to re-watching all of the old movies she and Eddie had loved to view together. No more wallowing on the couch after work. Daily walks would do a ton to improve her overall health and mood. She needed the stress release. 

The last and most important thing Janet wanted to accomplish within the next two years was having more fun. Meeting new friends and hanging out with the great ones she already had. Setting up a regular girl's night and seeing her married friends on the weekend for brunch would become a priority. Janet wanted to start hosting holidays at her home again and inviting the world back into her life. Janet couldn't remember the last time she really laughed. Belly laughed, chuckled or had a case of the giggles. She had always been a really happy person, but these things had been completely missing since the break-up. 

It took eight hours and four pots of coffee, but when she was through, Janet's entire outlook on life had begun to turn around. As she stretched out on her bed to go to sleep that morning, she was excited about the future for the first time in six months. It didn't escape her notice that she had not contemplated any plans that included men, dating or most importantly, Eddie. Janet didn't know what it meant, but suspected that she had finally started to heal. 

For the first time in six months she slept soundly.


	3. Chapter 3

Eddie woke up the following morning alone and in a huff. His "date" with Tracey the night before had definitely not worked out the way he had intended. As he pulled himself out of bed and into the shower he thought about seeing Janet the night before. He had noticed that she looked run down. Eddie still thought she was beautiful and would never stop being attracted to her, but she was missing something now. Her glow was gone. He wasn't self-centered enough to think that he had been the cause of her glow during their months of dating. He distinctly remembered that she had it before they were together. But now, she looked tired and sad. He felt a tiny twinge of guilt at the thought that he had caused the once radiant Janet to be sad. He missed her terribly. If he was being honest with himself, he could admit that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He wished that he could get past her indiscretion. He thought daily about what it would take to forgive her. He was still just so angry. Eddie was really tired of being angry.

After getting ready, Eddie headed downstairs for breakfast and then to head out to work. As he came around the corner into the living room he saw Phil and Pizza Girl eating their cereal.

"What goes on, Eddie?" asked Pizza Girl

"Not much. Just recovering from my awesome date last night!" He said with a smile.

Phil grinned, "Oh yeah, the blonde from the coffee shop. Nice! You said she was hot."

Eddie put on his sleaziest smile. "Yes, Stacey _is_ hot and extremely flexible. If you know what I mean."

Pizza Girl has heard enough. She headed into the kitchen for a refill of cereal and left the boys alone. 

"I thought you said her name was Tracey?" Phil asked.

"Stacey/Tracey. Whatever. It all sounds the same when you're screaming out in the middle of the night." Eddie popped up off the couch and headed for the door. "Have a great day Phil! I know I will."

"Bye Eddie!" As soon as he had walked out the door, Pizza Girl returned to the living room and noticed the concern on Phil's face.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.

"Um, this thing with Eddie is worse than I thought. He's desperately sad." he replied.

"Ah, how exactly could you tell that between all his disgusting comments about last night?"

"Oh, that's nothing," Phil explained, "He was lying through his teeth. Eddie didn't have sex with that girl. He was in his bed by 11:00 last night."

"Why does he have to lie about it?" Pizza Girl wondered.

"Because he wants everyone to think he's back to the old Eddie Latekka ways. He wants us to think he's over Janet and he's moved on. The funny thing is, he doesn't realize that we all know that the person he was with Janet, WAS the real Eddie Latekka. He's hurting bad. I just don't know what to do about it."

Pizza Girl was all at once sad and elated. It killed her that her friend Eddie was sad, but she was so thrilled that she and Phil were going so strong that nothing could separate them. She couldn't imagine a world without him in it and for a moment tried to contemplate what Eddie and, she suspected, Janet were going through. It gave her the chills.

Outside in the driveway, Eddie was happy he had run into Phil and Pizza Girl that morning. As he started up his car he thought that he was a pretty convincing actor. He felt bad claiming he had slept with a girl he hadn't, but letting Phil know what a bad way he was in, was NOT an option. His friends were meddlers and they would not cease bugging him until they felt sure he was happy again. Eddie had a hard time fathoming how far in the future that could possibly be. 

Eddie arrived at the office before Nick, so he put on a pot of coffee and began digging through the mountain of paperwork on his desk. Even if his personal life had been shot to hell, at least on the professional side he'd been doing well. In the past five months since Eddie had been back to work, he and Nick had picked up over ten new customers. Best Friends Windows was finally turning a profit and he and Nick were overjoyed that they could actually start paying themselves. It wasn't much, but being able to take home a check at the end of the week was really fulfilling. It had taken him a long time to admit it, but Nick had been right when he decided to open the shop. It had been the one thing that got Eddie through this rough patch.

After Nick arrived, they went through this week's orders. They spent the entire afternoon scheduling their new jobs and ordering supplies. When it started to get dark outside, Eddie looked up and was surprised at how much time had passed.

"Hey Nick, want to go by Sully's and grab a drink?"

"Don't you get sick of going there and running into Janet?" Nick asked him with an incredulous look on his face. "Don't you think it's a just a tiny bit cruel to keep going back there and torturing the poor girl?"

Eddie couldn't believe the words that had just come out of his best friend's mouth. "Me, torture, her? What are you talking about? "

"Yes, Eddie torturing her. She has loved you for as long as I can remember and coming to her place of employment with a string of model-esque girls has to be killing her." He tried to explain. "I understand your need to try and get back on the horse, my friend, but I think you might be trying a little too hard. If I had to guess, I suspect, it tortures you a little bit every time you enter that place and see her behind the bar."

Eddie stood up and walked toward the door. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about. Janet and I are through. She saw to that when she slept with Rooster."

"…when she slept with Rooster after catching you kissing your beautiful ex-girlfriend on your front porch where the entire world could see you, thereby expressing your utter disrespect for your girlfriend and your relationship, after you had lied about seeing her earlier in the day because you had feelings that you needed to… what was it? Oh yes, resolve." Nick stood up and walked over toward Eddie. "You mean that time?"

"Why is it that everyone always thinks of Janet as the wronged party in this whole thing? We both made mistakes, but she slept. with. another. MAN. I didn't deserve that." He was getting worked up now.

Nick thought about it for a second to make sure he answered his friend's question carefully. "You're right, you didn't deserve that. But sometimes, and I bet Janet can attest to this, life is unfair. People make mistakes. They let their past influence their decisions. They let the way they've been treated before dictate the choices made in the present. Janet is an amazing person…"

"Yes, she is. Still a cheater…" Eddie spit out.

"… she is also someone who has had a lot of disappointment to deal with and if I remember correctly, some of that disappointment was caused directly by you. She has had to learn how to adapt to the way the world treats her. Think about it. Can you imagine? What I think is amazing is the fact that despite all the hurt she's been put through she is still one of the kindest, gentlest most pleasant people I know. She made a gigantic mistake that night but Jesus, Eddie, who hasn't done that before?"

"Are you about finished?" Eddie looked thoughtful. He put his hand on the knob and turned.

Nick laughed. "Yes, lecture complete. Let's go get a beer." The two friends walked out of the door into the crisp late fall evening.


	4. Chapter 4

Janet walked into her shift at Sully's with a renewed sense of purpose. On the way to work, she'd stopped at the local market and picked up a fresh dinner to have on her break. This was the start of her new life. Following the plan she had laid out last night, getting things into order and working to be actually happy again were her new priorities. It felt invigorating!

She pushed the door open and entered her familiar haunt. Karen was behind the counter washing dishes; Sully was reading the paper at a booth against the wall. They both looked up when Janet entered the room. Instantly, they could tell something was different. 

Sully looked over and said, "Well, there missy. You look nice today. Did you get a haircut or something?"

Janet smiled broadly, "No, Sul. Nothing like that."

"You look like you got some sleep, huh? Finally." He was beyond relieved. Janet was one of his favorite people. He had been a good friend of her mother's and after she died felt responsible for looking after her well being. The thing between her and Eddie had been hard on her. Probably harder than she would ever admit to anyone. She didn't want to talk about it, and he respected that, he just wished there was something he could do to help. Seeing her come into the bar with just a twinge of the old Janet in her face again, he was thrilled!

"I did, Sully. I feel good today." She was starting to feel like herself again.

Janet went behind the counter, found an apron and got right down to work. Since it was only 5:00pm, the crowd in the bar was thin. It would more than likely begin picking up very shortly. She noticed a table of guys in the corner in need of a refill, so she headed over. 

"Hey guys, can I get you another drink?" She asked.

One of the guys at the table replied, "Sure, babe. That would be great. Another round of drafts." As he said it, he eyed Janet up and down. 

She was uncomfortable with his stares, but used to working in a bar environment, so she put her head down and went and got their beers. As she walked over to the bar, Sully's front door opened. She looked up and saw Nick and Eddie walk in.

Eddie headed to a table in the back of the bar. He noticed Janet immediately. She looked…different. He glanced over at her again. She didn't look exactly like she used to, but closer than she had in a while. He tried to steal another glance. 

Janet was acutely aware than Eddie was across the room looking at her. She tried not to care. She tried not to notice or read too far into it. She knew how it made her feel to have him so close, and could only imagine what he went through when he saw her. Secretly, she hoped he missed her like she did him, but she didn't think it was possible. 

Eddie looked back. Janet was behind the bar filling pints and talking to Karen. Something Karen said must have been amusing. He saw Janet's eyes light up and slowly the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. Despite himself, his heart leapt. He couldn't quite place what had changed overnight, but he was not happy with his reaction. He turned away very quickly.

Nick headed over to the bar to grab some beers. He and Eddie had fallen into a familiar routine. On nights when Janet was working, it was Nick's job to grab beers from the servers. He walked up to the counter. 

He smiled, "Karen, Janet, What goes on?"

Both ladies said hi. Janet excused herself to deliver the drinks to the guys in the back who were very quickly growing impatient. She was hyper sensitive to the fact that she had to walk past Eddie to get to the table, but had to do her job which left her no choice. As she placed the beers on the table she noticed the guy from before staring again. Janet dropped the glasses and quickly turned around to head back to the bar. 

As she was walking away she heard him say, "Maybe I should try to go 'cow tipping' tonight? I think she digs me. A girl like that's got to be desperate." 

Janet cringed. She was used to this kind of thing. Working in a bar afforded her with a unique view of the opposite sex. Frankly, a lot of men were disgusting and hurtful. She was lucky to have a healthy attitude about it. Today was such a stellar day; it would take a lot more than that to get her down. 

Eddie didn't know if Janet had heard the comments from his neighboring table. He really hoped she hadn't. He quickly snapped his head over to look at the asshole that had been so out of line. He didn't recognize the guy as a Ridge native. Eddie was furious. He was seconds from jumping off the stool to throttle the guy when he stopped himself. 

"Not your problem anymore, man." He said to himself. He was surprised how much he cared. Since the Rooster revelation, the only think Eddie could think about was hurting Janet the way she had hurt him. Now when faced with a situation that could fulfill his wishes, he was really shocked how it made him feel. He wanted to kill the guy for being such a pig, for daring to disrespect his Janet.

Janet headed back to the guy's table to drop off a third round a little later. Again, she felt so self-conscious walking past Eddie and Nick's chairs, but knew she had to just get on with her job. She dropped the beers on the table and as she turned away, the guy who had commented before grabbed her ass and said, "What do you say you and I get out of here and go fog up my pickup?"

She was appalled, but knew not to let him see how she felt, "Wow, that's a really great offer, but I think I'll pass. I have a sock drawer to rearrange tonight." Janet smiled and walked away.

The guy was pissed. He called after her, "YOU would refuse me? I was doing you a favor. Who would touch you? Pig."

She just turned around and smiled, "Thank you for thinking of me, I appreciate your generosity, but I don't sleep with fucking idiots." She then turned on her heel and walked back over to the bar.

Eddie had heard the entire exchange. He was proud of Janet's ability to stand up for herself, but he couldn't contain himself any longer. Nick tried to hold him back, but when Eddie set his mind to something, that's it. He slowly walked over to the other table. 

He smiled and leaned in really closely to the man who had insulted Janet and said, "Do you like your life? "

The guy nodded. Eddie leaned in even closer and said very quietly, "OK. Then if you'd like to keep it, I would suggest never talking to her, looking at her, or acknowledging her again. Because if you do, I will hunt you down and hurt you. Badly. Beyond recognition. Got it?"

The petrified man slowly nodded, slid off his chair and followed his friends out the door. 

Janet watched as Eddie left his stool and walked over to the table. She couldn't understand what he could possibly be doing. Had he heard their conversation? Maybe he was going to go sit with the guy and discuss how right he was. Eddie hated her, of that she was sure. He was probably thrilled to have someone to commiserate with. She saw him lean in close and smile. Janet couldn't take it any more. She grabbed a tray of glasses and walked toward the kitchen door. She stopped short before making it though and turned around. What she saw then surprised and delighted her. She saw the look in Eddie's face change. She noticed his demeanor switch. His look became menacing. Whatever he was saying to that man, it wasn't friendly. She observed while Eddie continued to talk and saw the guy and his friends slink out the door. Janet didn't want anyone to know what she had witnessed, so she just continued through the kitchen door to the back room. 

She sat down near the sink and thought to herself, "Could he have been threatening that guy? Was he defending me?"

It didn't really make sense to her, but Janet couldn't think of any other explanation for the scene she had just witnessed. "I must not think too far into this. Eddie is a decent guy. He would protect any woman. Even me." Still, she couldn't help but be a little encouraged. This was a stellar day indeed.

Janet headed back into the bar, revitalized to finish her shift.


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks past and Knights Ridge got colder. Much colder. The temperature had dipped well into the 30s every night for a week. Janet couldn't help but think how much she used to love the cold. The thought of wrapping herself up in warm layers, putting on a hat and trudging through the newly fallen snow. Now, it only served as a reminder of how much she missed Eddie. Last year at this time they were getting to know each other better. Tenative kisses in his truck, holding hands at the movies and quiet dinners that stretched on for hours while they shared everything about themselves. They had taken every opportunity to walk through the snow and experience the brilliant changes of the winter season. Last Christmas Eve when Eddie had asked her if she would ride around with him as he cleared the Ridge streets had been the happiest of her life.

Snow for Eddie meant increased business. Janet had heard it through the grapevine that he was going to continue plowing snow this season as a side job to help make up for the slow window business in the winter. She was bummed to imagine him riding around alone in his truck throughout the snowy winter nights. It alarmed her even more, however, to think about how she felt about the idea that he might not actually be alone in that truck.

Since the night she had witnessed Eddie's conversation with the man in the bar, he hadn't been in Sully's much and when Janet did see him he was always alone. Perhaps his supply of girls had dried up? He would have to wait for the start of the new semester in January to find new blood.

The thought of the upcoming semester actually made Janet happy. She had all her new classes planned out and could not wait to register and get started. Registration began at the end of the week and she had made an appointment to see an advisor on Friday.

Janet's focus on fun had been in full swing as well. She, Pizza Girl, Hannah and Alison all had plans for that evening. Nothing special, just a night at Sully's, but to Janet, it meant the world. Her friends had been so supportive over the past months, she was just so grateful to have them in her life. She felt like they all deserved a little time to let go and have a few drinks.

Janet was in her room deciding what to wear for her special night. Her new health plan had done wonders to make her feel better about her appearance. She had ditched the dark circles under her eyes, her hair was back to it's shiny best and best of all she had noticed her clothes were starting to feel loose. The early morning trips to the walking track had started to pay off. Her intention wasn't to lose any weight, but she liked that there was a result to all of her hard work.

Janet decided on a cute new low cut black dress and leather knee high boots that she got last time she was in Boston. She would normally never have spent 500 on one outfit, but the second she put that dress over her head she knew she had to have it. The boots were an added bonus. They made her feel tall and if she was telling the truth, really sexy. Dressed weren't common in Sully's, but she was feeling sassy tonight and thought it was about time she dressed the part. Plus, she was only going from her house to Alison's car and into Sully's so it wouldn't be that cold.

The only thing missing from her outfit was jewelry. Janet headed over to her dresser and opened the drawer. She rifled through the contents to find a necklace that would draw attention to her ample cleavage. If she was going to commit to wearing this kind of dress, she was REALLY going to commit to it. As she went through the drawer she spotted a small silver chain in the corner. She recognized it immediately as the bracelet Eddie had given her for Christmas the year before. She had thrown it into the drawer that day after their fight in the hospital and never gone in to retrieve it again. She felt a stab in the heart as she picked it up to examine it.

"Wow, things have really changed, huh?" she said to herself. As she was about to open the clasp and try it on (just for old times sake) she heard a car horn in the front of her house. Alison had arrived to pick her up. Janet quickly dropped the bracelet, grabbed the long gold chain she was looking for and threw it around her neck. She popped on her coat and ran out the door.

Sully's was packed for a Saturday night. The four girls maneuvered to the back of the bar and found the last remaining table to sit at. They took off their coats and sat down.

"Whoa Nelly! Look at you." Hannah couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Janet, I haven't seen you this dressed up in a really long time. We should feel honored ladies. Look at what Miss Meadows wore for us tonight! Where did you get that dress?"

Janet smiled. "I got it at Saks the last time I was in Boston. I thought it was beautiful, so I splurged and bought it. Of course it didn't really occur to me until I got home that I had absolutely nowhere to wear it to. Hence the fashion forward girl's night out."

Pizza Girl was happy to see her friend getting back to normal. She had been very worried about Janet in the months after her breakup. It was nice to know that she had begun to feel better about herself again. "Nice choice, my friend. I can't remember you ever looking more beautiful."

"OK. Enough about my outfit ladies, how about I go get us some beers?" Janet waited for everyone's orders and headed up to the bar.

Eddie was in the opposite corner of Sully's having a few drinks with Ikey when he saw Janet and the other girls walk through the door. He had to fight the urge to stand up, wave and call her over to sit at their table. It always took a few seconds for him to really remember all that had happened with them over the past months and realize that they weren't there to see each other any more. He knew Janet couldn't see him through the crowd, so he kept watching her. She quickly spotted the last open table and led the girls to sit down. He was not expecting what happened next.

When Janet took her coat off, he got a quick glimpse of what she was wearing and it immediately sent a shock through his spine. He had always considered Janet a no frills kind of girl. She liked to be comfortable and he loved that about her. She was so radiant and beautiful, it didn't matter what she wore. He always thought she was spectacular. He had not, however, seen her in anything like this before. She was wearing a short black dress with long thin sleeves. The front of the dress was cut down between her breasts and she wore a long gold necklace that was buried in her cleavage. He couldn't make out what type of shoes she had on in the crowd, but the second she stepped away to get her group beers, he realized that they were knee-high leather boots. He stopped breathing. It took him a full minute to recover before he realized that Ikey was talking to him, "Dude, what goes on with you? I'm asking you a question."

Ikey realized that Eddie was staring at something across the bar, so he followed his gaze and connected the dots very quickly. "Holy crap. She looks—she looks…amazing."

"Yes." was all Eddie could squeak out.

"I wonder why she's all dressed up? Do you think she's meeting someone here?" Ikey tentatively asked. He wanted to prepare Eddie for the worst-case scenario.

"No. It's girls' night out. She's here with Alison, Pizza Girl and Hannah."

"Then why is she dressed like that? Who ever heard of a girl dressing up for her friends?" Ikey dimly asked.

Eddie absent mindedly said, "She's dressing up for herself. I can tell."

Janet stood at the bar and waited patiently for Karen to pour their drinks. She looked down the bar and noticed the regular cast of characters sitting belly up drinking their stressful days away. She looked back into the corner near the dartboard and saw Eddie sitting there for the first time. She couldn't believe she hadn't noticed him there. She used to walk into Sully's and scan the entire room in the hopes that he would be lurking in some corner. She hadn't even thought to look tonight.

She turned back around and waited for her beers. She took another glance around and noticed there was one face sitting next to her that struck her as familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. He was very handsome, to be sure, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she knew him from somewhere. He definitely stood out in Sully's. Crisp suit, shiny shoes and a quiet confidence that did not say, 'I work at the local Gas and Stop'. While she was contemplating his face, he looked up at her and smiled.

"Oh my god. Janet Meadows! How are you?"

At that moment it hit her. "Trace Bower! I can't believe it's you." She moved over to give her old friend a long hug. "I haven't seen you since graduation. What goes on?"

"Ah nothing much. I moved to New York right after graduation. Finding myself and all that jazz. Got a job directing theater on Broadway, found the love of my life, my partner John, he's the best thing that ever happened to me." Trace glowed as he described his big-city life.

Janet laughed, "That explains why you never kissed me at prom. I had a complex about that for about 3 years, dude."

Trace smiled. "It wasn't you, I swear. I always thought you were the most incredible woman I knew. If I had been into girls at all, you would have been the first one I jumped. I swear!"

"Hey, it's OK. I've gotten over it." She grinned.

"So what about you," Trace asked, "What goes on with you? You look stunning tonight. Hot date?"

"Ha. That's actually hilarious. No, I'm between boyfriends. I was seeing someone pretty seriously, but things didn't work out, so I'm a free agent now." Janet noticed that she immediately frowned when she thought of the Eddie situation. She was sick of frowning.

Trace looked at her knowingly, "Still fresh huh? Is he a local guy? Anyone I know?"

"Do you remember Eddie Latekka?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"Do I ever. Holy crap. He was always a dish. Still hot and charming after all these years?"

Janet laughed, "If you had asked me 10 years ago I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but he's even hotter now and really sweet. He's also sitting over in that corner staring at us right now."

"I can understand why. Look at this dress. If I'm remembering correctly, there aren't very many Ridge girls that go out looking like this." He made her twirl around in a circle so he could get a better look.

"Such a ladies man you are, Trace! Anyway, he wants nothing to do with me anymore."

"Oh Janet, don't be too sure about that. If there's one thing I know, it's men and I can tell from here, he's dying that we've been talking so long. Want to have some fun?"

She loved the twinkle in Trace's eye. "Of course. I've been trying to have more fun in my life."

He put his hand on her shoulder, "Lean in really close to me."

She did.

"Right, now whisper something in my ear."

Janet didn't know what to say, so she just complemented his shoes.

"Thank you. They're hot, no? Now I'm making it look like I'm saying something really sexy in your ear. Laugh like I've told you the funniest thing ever." Trace reached down, picked up and inspected the necklace she had hanging really low around her neck and chest.

Janet followed his instructions again. She laughed mightily. Half of the bar, including Eddie, looked over at the two of them wondering what could be so funny.

"Now lean in, give me a kiss on the cheek. Write your number down on this napkin because I want to get coffee and catch up while I'm in town. Smile, grab your drinks and head straight back to your table. When you get about halfway there, look over your shoulder and smile really big. If you can muster a wink, try that too."

"Here goes!"

Janet was thrilled. She did everything Trace asked her to perfectly. She had to hand it to him, he knew his stuff. Just before she made it back to the girl's table, she looked briefly at Eddie. He looked stunned.

Janet dropped the drinks on the table and jumped up on the stool. Her friends looked flabbergasted.

"Um, who's the hottie?" Hannah asked.

Janet smiled. "Do you remember Trace Bower?"

Hannah laughed. "You mean your prom date? Of course I remember him. When did he get so hot?"

"Love will do that for a man, I guess." Janet giggled.

Hannah couldn't believe it. "Did he ask you out?"

Janet was laughing uncontrollably now. "I don't think I'm his type."

Hannah, Alison and Pizza Girl all caught on at the same moment. They said in unison, "Gay?!"

Janet started breathing normally again, "Yup. It makes sense if you think about it. I just wasn't worldy enough at 17 to really figure it out."

Pizza Girl loved seeing Janet have fun again, "So what was that show all about, then?"

"That? Oh, that was for Eddie."

What was she doing? I know she knows I'm sitting over here. I know she saw me.

Eddie looked at Ikey and gritted his teeth. "WHO IS THAT STIFF IN THE SUIT?"

"Jeez man, I have no idea. Never seen him in here before. He seems to be really into Janet." Ikey grinned. He knew Eddie wasn't completely over Janet, no matter what he said to the contrary.

Eddie's mind was racing. He couldn't stop thinking about the scene that was unfolding before him.

He's touching her.

Why is he touching her?

Don't touch the necklace. Don't put your hands near her chest.

She's kissing his cheek. The Janet I know doesn't kiss strangers. At least I don't think she does. Does she?

Was that a wink?

Eddie was completely oblivious to everything going on around him except Janet.

It took Ikey a solid minute to get his attention again. "--I SAID, why do you care? You're the one who broke up with _her_ remember?"

"That doesn't mean that I want to watch her, you-know, with complete strangers. Leave it be Ikey."

"Ok, man. I just think that if you're this worked up about a smile and a wink, maybe breaking up wasn't the right thing to do. Maybe you might want to…"

--"I said, LEAVE IT BE _IKEY_."

He watched her sit down and start dishing with the girls. He couldn't believe it. Eddie began drinking in earnest.

A few hours later Janet was definitely feeling great. She'd had a few cocktails and her night with the girls was going really well. It was the first time she'd felt like herself in a really long time. She excused herself to go to the restroom.

Eddie wasn't feeling great. He'd had one too many beers and was really in a funk. He was about ready to begin the walk home, but wanted to stop in the restroom first.

They came upon each other in the narrow hallway in the back of the bar. She smelled him before she actually saw him come around the corner. Beer, Keihl's Musk and Tide; smelled like home.

"Hey Eddie. What goes on?"

"-Oh, hi Janet. Nothing really."

Eddie took a step closer to her in the hopes that he would be able to smell her perfume. The hallway was very narrow, so it wasn't a long trip. The instant he smelled her, he smiled. The reaction was completely involuntary. She smiled back.

"You look --um-- beautiful tonight." He reached up and touched a couple of her curls. He wanted to kiss her so badly, but couldn't seem to take the next step.

She took a step back from him. "Thank you, Eddie. Have a nice night."

Before he knew it, she had disappeared around the corner and he was left alone. again.

Janet slipped around the corner as quickly as she could. She needed to be out in the open, she needed air. For about two seconds in the hallway, she could have sworn Eddie was going to kiss her. The thought was enough to send her pulse racing. She had been wrong, hadn't she? She wiped the tear away from her cheek, put a smile on her face and headed back to the girl's table.

She must have been wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

"…and then he kicked me out of his hospital room. We've barely spoken since." Janet was sitting across from Trace at the local coffee shop. She'd called him that morning to see if he had time to catch up before he left town. They had been talking for three hours already. Janet couldn't believe how easy it was to just pick right back up where they had left off 10 years earlier.

"Janet, that story about you and Eddie is really horrible. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things will get better. If he sees the errors of his ways—good. If not, then you will figure out a way to get past it. You're a good person who made a dumb decision. It happens to the best of us. "

"You know Trace, I should have realized that you were gay in high school. You were the only guy I knew who went all 'Pretty in Pink' and made your prom outfit yourself. You were always such a good friend. I wish I could have been there for you, you know, to help you out."

"I didn't even really know. Maybe on some level, but this isn't exactly the easiest place to grow up if you're different from everyone else."

Janet smiled a bit, "Tell me about it." They gave each other knowing glances.

Janet could have continued chatting all afternoon, but she had an appointment to get to with her college advisor. She also had her camera with her and knew that if she left now, she would still have an hour of natural light to take some photos in. She stood up to say goodbye to Trace.

"Trace, I can't tell you how incredible it's been running into you again. I feel like we never lost touch." Janet hugged him tightly.

"I feel the same way, Janet. Please tell me you'll come down to NY and visit. I NEED for you to meet John. He would adore you! He loves the curly haired, big girls. He couldn't resist you." Trace reached up and touched Janet's hair.

They both heard the bell ring on the coffee shop door, but were too occupied saying goodbye to notice Eddie walk in. He came through the door and immediately saw Janet in a close embrace with the guy from Sully's. His heart sank.

"I would love to come to NY and visit. You name the weekend and I'll be there! I'll even bring my sexy black dress for you." Janet hugged Trace again, gave him a kiss and ran out the door. She hadn't even registered Eddie standing in front of the counter.

Trace did though. He smiled very broadly and said loud enough for the whole shop to hear, "I just can't get enough of that girl. She's amazing!" He then turned on his heel and headed outside.

Janet was shocked by the cold air that hit her when she walked down October Road. It was genuinely winter now. She pulled her coat up around her neck and continued down the block toward her jeep. Walking down the street, she happily snapped photos of the sights along the way. All those years ago, Janet had really seen the world within the small glass frame of her camera viewfinder. She was finding that it was simple to get back into the rhythm again. She got back to her jeep and jumped in. Janet blasted the heat and waited a moment for it to warm up. She was hyper aware that her car was parked directly in front of Best Friend's Windows. October Road was a busy street, so if you found a spot, you took it no matter whose store it was in front of. If Janet was being honest with herself, she had hoped to run into Eddie just a tiny bit when she'd parked her Jeep there earlier in the morning. No such luck. Janet sighed.

"It's a small town. I'll see him again soon." She thought to herself. She turned on the radio and was surprised to hear the weather forecast.

"…low of 25 tonight. Snow showers expected starting tomorrow at about 2pm, should last well into the night tomorrow night. It's going to be a big storm people, don't go out unless you have to."

"Argh!" Janet was supposed to go to school and register between 4pm and 5pm tomorrow. She wondered t herself if she could get a better registration time earlier in the day. She would ask her advisor during her meeting today. She smiled to herself. Janet couldn't believe she had an appointment with an advisor from the college today. She was so happy to be moving on with her life!

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Eddie was walking down October Road with his hot coffee in his hand. He couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. Was Janet really going to see that guy? He wished he didn't care. He had hoped it wouldn't still sting after all these months. He had even tried to move on. Nothing was working and he was starting to get pissed. Why couldn't he move on already? He was about three steps from Best Friend's Windows when he noticed the green jeep in the parking space out front. He would know it anywhere. Eddie didn't want to look, he just couldn't help himself. He peered inside and saw Janet. She was talking to herself, which was something he had always found really annoying about her. Today, it was cute. She was smiling from ear to ear too. The only thing Eddie could think was, "Please god let her not be smiling over that guy in the coffee shop. Please?" So much for moving on.

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Janet pulled out of her spot and drove towards school. She did not want to be late for her appointment.

"Well, Miss Meadows, everything looks like it's in order. You have a lot of credits that are still valid here and it should only take you a year to a year and a half to finish up. I've printed out some information for you about the art program and available scholarships if you're interested. We're so happy to have you back!"

Janet beamed. "I'm thrilled to be back. By the way, I heard on the way over here that we're supposed to get A LOT of snow tomorrow afternoon. Is there anyway I could come in a little earlier to register?"

Her advisor smiled, "Snow? Yuck. I'm afraid I can't give you an earlier slot, though. Unfortunately, we have to keep a very tidy schedule. So be here between 4pm and 5pm please."

Janet smiled back, "OK. Can't blame a girl for trying."

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Meanwhile in Best Friend's Windows, Eddie was near his breaking point. He needed to talk about it and Nick seemed like an OK candidate for listener.

"Nick, I'm dying. I can't stop thinking about her. Janet in the black dress. Janet hugging that good looking guy. Janet smiling in her Jeep. She's haunting me and I can't stop it."

"Have you stopped to really think about why you can't stop thinking about her?" Nick treaded lightly.

"Um, duh. Of course I have. I just haven't come up with any answer yet."

Nick tried again. "Is it possible that you maybe felt a little stronger about her than you thought?"

"I don't know. The only thing I can remember is how bad it felt when she told me about what happened. I have a really hard time remembering what I felt like before that." Eddie furrowed his brow. Just thinking about the Rooster thing pissed him off.

"Do you think it's possible that you might--I don't know—love her?" Nick winced. He prepared himself for an ugly Eddie meltdown.

"I just don't know." Eddie didn't even have the energy to fight.

"Do you owe it to yourself and her to try and figure it out?" If he wasn't going to pitch a fit, Nick might as well keep pushing.

"I don't OWE Janet anything. Make no mistake, I still think of her as a cheater."

"Here comes the old Eddie" Nick thought.

"Right, but has it occurred to you that she would NEVER have done anything like that to you if she hadn't seen you kissing Rory? You have to know that, right?" Nick truly believed that Janet was a good girl. She would not have gone near another man if she hadn't felt like Eddie had ditched her. Secretly, he thought Eddie was a lot more to blame in this situation than Eddie actually did. Who kisses their ex-girlfriend on their porch where all the world could see?

"I think I know that. I mean, I'd like to think that." Eddie looked thoughtful…and sad. "I don't know what to think. I hate her, some days. I am desperate to see her others. I'm all mixed up."

"Why don't you talk to her? Really talk to her."

"It doesn't really matter anymore. It seems like she's seeing that guy from the other night. I just saw them at the coffee shop. I overheard her making plans to visit him in New York. And…and…she promised to bring her new sexy black dress." Eddie could barely get the words out.

Nick sat quietly for a minute. He was going to give it one more try. "I still think you should try to talk to her."

Eddie headed towards the door to leave for the day, he turned around and looked at Nicky. "What's the point?"


	7. Chapter 7

This is a short chapter. Sorry! … more to come later

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Well, the Knights Ridge forecast had been half right. It WAS snowing. But it didn't wait until 2pm that Friday to start. Janet woke up in at about 11:00 to near white out conditions outside her bedroom window. She had been so excited about her meeting with her advisor that she hadn't been able to sleep. She didn't know when she had finally drifted off, but it was very, very late. She jumped out of bed, put on her favorite "skinny" jeans and new fitted yellow cashmere sweater. Part of this two-year plan was Janet feeling better about herself, loving herself and buying nice, quality things to wear. She needed to know that she DESERVED to have nice things. It was OK to dress herself the way she was, not wait until she looked the way she fantasized. It would be a long road, but she was coming around. Watching endless hours of "What Not To Wear" helped. She imagined Stacy and Clinton would be ashamed if Janet headed out of her house in sweat pants ever again, and she did not want to let them down!

Janet sat down and poured herself a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee. She looked over her class choices again and thought about her plan for the day. She wanted to stop by Sully's and pick up her paycheck and then head out to school to wait for her registration appointment. She grabbed her new blue puffer jacket and cute furry North Face boots and headed towards the door. As she stepped out of the front door, she couldn't believe how far she sank into the snow. The weatherman had been REALLY wrong. There was probably already 6-8 inches on the ground and it was still coming down strong. These were the days that Janet was really glad she had traded in her Charger for the more utilitarian Jeep.

She pulled into Sully's and found a cleared spot. She couldn't help but smile when she realized the entire lot had been plowed recently. Eddie always started his plowing at Sully's. Last year he had told her it was because he wanted to make sure she was safe. Janet, however, always suspected that it was because he wanted to make sure all the townies would be able to get to their beers. Either way, it was sweet.

She walked in to grab her check from Sully and was surprised to see Nick sitting at the bar. Her rarely came into Sully's without the other guys in tow.

"What goes on, Nick?" She smiled.

"Not much Janet. How are you?" He smiled back. He had always liked Janet. He had definitely liked Janet for Eddie.

"I'm good. Just trying to stay dry this morning. What are you doing here so early…and without your cohorts?"

He laughed. "Is it early to be in a bar? I hadn't noticed. Best Friend's Windows has slowed a little for the winter and Eddie is out plowing all day, so I didn't have much to do."

Janet smiled when she envisioned Eddie in his truck keeping the Ridge safe. "Well, Sully's is as good as any place to hunker down and wait out the snow, I guess."

"Yeah, I think you're right. Janet, can I ask you something personal?"

She was slightly taken aback by his request, but had always liked Nick, so she nodded her head.

"You never would have, um, done what you did if you hadn't seen Eddie with Rory, right? I mean, you really cared about him, didn't you?"

Her first reaction was to tell him to mind his own damn business, but something in the earnestness of his question and the look in his eyes made her want to answer him.

She frowned. "No, of course not. You have to understand what it was like for me, Nick. This in no way excuses my behavior, but I hope it can explain where I was mentally. Seeing Eddie kissing Rory was the single worst moment of my life. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. The man I loved was sitting on his front porch, on the bench we shared night after night, kissing a girl I thought he was long over. I knew she was in town, I had heard it through the grapevine. I tried to ask Eddie about it multiple times. He never fessed up to seeing her. So I went over that night to talk to him. Find out what went on with him. I never expected to see that.

I did the only thing I could think of. I called the person who had always told me that Eddie was no good for me. That Eddie would grow tired of me. That Eddie couldn't possibly love me the way I loved him. I thought maybe I could get some insight into how to handle what I was feeling… and I made him bring booze. Lot's of it. And I drank his booze. Lot's of it. Rooster started telling me the things I longed to hear from Eddie. The type of things that I wished he thought about me. If he was kissing his ex-girlfriend on his front porch, clearly he didn't care for me the way I did him. Clearly, he didn't care at all. I thought we were over and he didn't have the decency to tell me. I should have trusted him. I know that now, but it was pretty hard in the moment."

Janet was exhausted from telling the story, but it felt good to get it out, even if she was talking to Eddie's best friend.

"Janet, I understand. I do. Eddie has always been bad at the feelings thing. He should have told you how he felt. He should have told you about Rory. I'm not excusing what you did, but I think it's been equally tough on both of you. I wish I could help you two figure this out. You made him the best man he's ever been, Janet. And now, he's a mess."

Janet looked up, "He is?"

"He is. I mean, he would never admit it and he acts as if everything is fine, but to anyone who knows him, he's destroyed."

Janet felt such same for causing Eddie such pain. She was finding it hard to control her tears.

She barely choked out, "I'm sorry. So very sorry. I have to run Nick. Have a good lunch."

Janet ran out of Sully's and jumped into her Jeep. She turned on the heat and stared at herself in the rearview mirror. She let a few tears fall and then wiped her eyes. Janet was done crying. She was sorry for what shed done, but she was done letting it define her life. She looked at the clock; 3:45pm. She had plenty of time to get to school for registration. Janet pulled out of the lot and headed across town to start the rest of her life.


	8. Chapter 8

"I cannot believe how deep this snow is. " Janet often talked to herself while driving. She knew it was a habit that Eddie really hated. She didn't care anymore.

Her Jeep was having a hard time staying on the road. Janet was going about 7 miles an hour and it was all she could do to just keep herself on the right side of the road. She wasn't a girl who was easily frightened and could certainly handle a car, but this was a different story. She decided to pull over for a second and gather her wits.

The moment she pulled to the curb, Janet knew her Jeep was stuck. She immediately tried to put it into reverse and then move forward again. Nothing but spinning tires and spewing snow.

"Fuck."

"Fuck."

"Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck."

Janet hopped out, sank into about 2 feet of snow and trudged to the front of her car. She looked at her watch. 4:25pm. She could feel her jeans start to soak through and even though her boots were warm (and very cute), they were no match for the snow that was seeping into them at that moment. 4:32pm. She was about a mile and a half from school at this point. Could she walk it? It was possible, but she didn't think she could make it by 5:00pm. Janet started to get really cold.

"OK then, I'll dig myself out." What choice did she have?

Janet went to the back of her Jeep and grabbed her windshield cleaner thing. She began digging around her tires. Progress was s-l-o-w. Now she was really cold! She looked up and down the street hoping to see someone, anyone, who could help her. At that moment, she saw a black F150 truck come around the corner… it had a plow.

"Oh, no. I'm not asking for his help. Uh uh." Janet got back to digging. She turned her body away from the street and kept throwing snow.

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Eddie loved the Ridge during snowstorms. So peaceful. No Matt and Ray giving him a hard time. No friends being overprotective of his "feelings". No Janet in her sexy black dress. With every layer of snow, Eddie had a blank slate to work with in his life. Until he hopped out of his truck at the end of the night, he was a new man.

Eddie maneuvered his truck around a corner and started the long route down October Road. In the distance, he saw someone on the side of the road. The person looked to be digging near their car. As he got closer, he saw that the car was a Jeep. He looked closer. He realized it was a woman. Pieces slowly started falling into place.

"It's Janet!" Eddie's first reaction was to slow down. Stop. Help in whatever way he could. But for some reason, he couldn't do it. He simply looked forward and kept driving.

"She's a grown woman. She can take care of herself."

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Janet kept digging as the black truck drove by. Unfortunately, it didn't just drive past her. As the plow pushed the snow from the street, it was pushed to the side of the road, right where Janet was digging. She lost all progress on her tires and it knocked her over into the bank of snow. Her ass was immediately soaked.

"Oh my god. That jackass." She screamed as he drove off into the distance. It was 4:45pm.

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Eddie had never felt so guilty. He had left Janet sitting in a snow bank on the side of the road. Stranded.

"Who does that?" He said out loud inside his truck.

Eddie quickly began a U-turn in the middle of the side street he was plowing. He had to go back and see if he could help. He wished he didn't want to, but he did. The thought of her cold and alone on the street (even October Road) was too much, even for her.

He turned the corner and saw her standing next to her half-buried Jeep. Janet always was beautiful when she was angry. He pulled up beside her.

"Need a lift?" He smiled. Eddie couldn't help himself.

"Not from you. Thankyouverymuch." She gritted her teeth.

"Aw, come on Janet. I'm sorry about leaving you here. I am."

"Uh huh. Right. I'm sure you loved it. Payback. Do you feel better now?" Janet was fired up.

Eddie had to grin. He loved it when she was pissed. She looked sexy. It reminded him of make-up sex. "So what if it was? Don't you deserve it?"

"Eddie, I'm really late for an appointment. I don't have time to stand here and talk to you about what a bad person I am. I'm sure you would love to dump a little more snow on me and leave me standing here, but I have a life to get to and besides, there isn't a part of me that isn't already soaking wet, you've made sure of that already. Bye."

He fought the urge to smile again. "I don't think you're a bad person."

"Liar." She spit.

"I think you did a bad thing." Eddie said really quietly.

"But no matter how bad of a thing you did, you don't deserve to stand out here soaking wet in the snow. Get in. I'll drive you to your appointment. It's the only way you're getting anywhere in this town right now."

"Um… I can't. I don't think it's –um right. I'll just wait for someone else." She wanted to hop into his truck so bad she could taste it, but the new Janet would not allow Eddie to think he had any power over her.

"Janet, just get in the damn truck." He was getting pissed. "You're being unreasonable and you're going to miss your appointment."

She simply did not know what to do. She needed to get to school. She had to register. She wanted so badly to be next to him in the cab of his truck again. She wanted to talk to him to explain why she had done such a bad thing. She also needed to stick to her plan. Strong Janet.

What would strong Janet do?


	9. Chapter 9

So sorry about the delay! Work has been insane. I hope you all enjoy the latest installment. Should have the next chapter up very soon. Keep reviewing!

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The struggle in her head continued for a few more seconds. She didn't know what strong Janet should do, but she knew that she had to make it to school and Eddie was her best chance. Janet relented and hopped into the cab of Eddie's truck.

"I have to be at the Stafford building in 5 minutes. Think you can make it there tough guy?" Janet scowled.

"Of course I can. Nobody knows their way around that school better than me." The instant it came out of his mouth, he regretted saying it.

"Yeah, I'm aware of your familiarity there. I think everyone is." Janet just looked out the window at the passing street.

Eddie didn't really have a comeback for that. He knew that bringing all those girls to Sully's after they broke up was hurtful. He had wanted to hurt her, pay her back for what she'd done. He was sure he had done that before he thought better of healing his pain with the company of mindless coeds.

"Janet?" He tried to get her attention.

Janet didn't answer. She just continued looking at the beautiful snow outside the window. She shivered. Her wet clothes we sticking to every inch of her body. The cashmere of her sweater, so soft and cuddly this morning, was itchy and uncomfortable now that it clung to her.

"Janet?" He said very softly. "Are you cold?"

She turned around to look at him, not unkindly. "Of course I'm cold. It's 30 degrees outside and I'm soaking wet. There isn't enough heat in this whole town to keep me warm right now."

He chuckled. Eddie had always loved her need to exaggerate and embellish. "I'm very sorry about dumping snow on you and leaving you in the street. I just couldn't make myself stop the truck. I didn't know how to—how to be—Oh, I don't know."

"You want me to suffer. I get it." Janet said sadly.

"NO! no. That's not it." He was surprised at his outburst and could tell she was too.

"OOOOOkay." She didn't know what to think anymore.

"I just didn't know how I would feel being this close to you again. I didn't want it to feel good. I didn't want to want you in the truck. I thought if I kept driving, I could just avoid everything."

Janet was surprised. She imagined Eddie as being far more over her than she was him. She had no idea that he would still be grappling with his feelings. He had seemed so angry, so over it all these months. Janet had convinced herself that he hated her. That he didn't care about her anymore or maybe her never really had.

Just as she was about to answer, they pulled up in front of Stafford Hall. Janet reached for the doorknob, and hopped out the door. 4:57. She turned to Eddie and said, "I will be out in about 10 minutes. Can you wait?"

"I'll wait for you." He smiled weakly.

Janet headed for the door. She arrived in the registration office just in time. The man behind the desk had begun packing up his materials. He took one look at the state Janet was in and reopened his folders.

"I'm sorry I'm here so late. I had some trouble in the snow." She giggled.

"Oh, I'm a Massachusetts native. I TOTALLY understand. Let's get you registered."

The whole process only took about 10 minutes. Janet skipped out the door. She was hit with extreme cold the second the outside air hit her. She grabbed the door handle and jumped up into the truck. "Shit it's cold out there."

Eddie smiled. He loved a little profanity from an otherwise good girl. It was one of his dirty little secrets.

"How did it go?"

"Great! I got all the classes I wanted and needed and at the best times. I start in four weeks." She was ecstatic.

"That's really good. I'm, um, really happy for you. You never mentioned going back to school before. Why now?"

She contemplated the answer to his questions. Janet didn't want to cause him any pain talking about what happened between them, but she also thought it was important to tell the truth.

"Well, after we broke up, I was destroyed. I couldn't imagine how I was going to go on. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I couldn't motivate to get out of bed on most days. I thought my life was over. Then you started coming back around Sully's with new, um, friends. It occurred to me that if you could move on…

"Janet. I want to explain—"

"No, Eddie. No. It occurred to me that if you could move on, so could I. I decided to take control of my life again. Make a plan. Going back to school was the first part."

"The first part? What are the other parts?" He hoped she would share. He thought it had something to do with the guy he had seen her around town with and wanted her to admit it.

"I would rather not discuss it. " She looked out of the window again.

He was hurt, but understood. "Um Janet, I really need to get to the roads outside of town. I could double back to your car, but I couldn't dig you out right now and I don't want to leave you in the dark soaking wet. Do you think you can stand to sit in those wet clothes for an hour, and help me clear the highway?"

"Sure. I could manage that." She smiled a bit.

"Ok then." Eddie turned the truck around and headed towards the highway. This little excursion had put him really far behind schedule, but for some reason, he didn't care.

They drove in silence for 15 minutes. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either. The air in the truck was thick. Eddie was trying to concentrate on the road, but having a really hard time of it. All he could think about was the smell of Janet's coconut shampoo. It was his own fault really. In getting her wet, he had rereleased the aroma that had been safely dried within her hair. Now it was the only thing he could concentrate on. Stupid shampoo.

"Hold it together Eddie. It's just a smell. It's just a smell. It's just a smell." He thought to himself.

Janet wondered what Eddie was thinking about. He'd been so quiet since they'd begun driving to the outer reaches of Bingham County. She hadn't spoken because she wasn't sure he wanted to hear anything she had to say. Janet also didn't know if she could control her mouth enough to say anything coherent. Being this close to him again, she couldn't help but fixate on his smell. Of all the things she loved about Eddie, his touch, his smile, his laugh, Janet would have never thought to rank the way he smelled very high. It was only when she was in close proximity now that she remembered what it did to her. Keihl's Musk, she never thought it would be her downfall. Pretty cheap really, easy to get and something magical when mixed with his essence. Her downfall: a bottle of cologne. Typical.

"Control. Control Janet. Control." She gritted her teeth.

"So, what--" Janet started.

"Um, how are—" Eddie said at the same time.

They both chuckled. This was going to be difficult.

"Why is this so hard?" Eddie asked.

Janet was surprised that he was willing to verbalize it.

"I don't know. I guess I don't know what to say. I don't know what you want me to talk about." Janet treaded lightly.

"Let's start with something easy. What classes are you taking?" Eddie wanted to ease into this.

"OK. I'm taking three courses next semester. Art History I: Prehistoric – Middle Ages, Modern Design and Large Format Photography. I only have about eight classes to go until I can graduate, so I'm trying to get as much done as possible."

Eddie smiled, "So your picking photography up again? That's great. I always thought you were really talented."

Janet smiled back at him, "Thank you. I didn't even realize how much I missed it. Or how happy it makes me. I shot some stuff today and it felt really good to be back in the saddle. The last time I took any film was, God, it was a long time ago. I think it was in Provide—anyway, it's been too long."

Janet had forgotten about their trip visiting the Grands in Providence. They had had such an amazing time. She loved the photos from that weekend. Eddie was so photogenic and he never minded being in front of the camera. She had such opposite feelings about being in photos, she had always really envied him for it. It occurred to her that she hadn't looked at the album since the week after they broke up.

Eddie remembered the weekend in Providence well. He had been so reluctant to go with her and for the life of him couldn't remember why now. They had had such a good time. Janet's grandparents were awesome people and the time they spent together in that hotel room was magical. Their lovemaking had been energetic, sweet, spontaneous and ranked as the hottest sex Eddie had ever had. He blushed just thinking about it.

Janet looked over at Eddie and wondered what he was thinking about. He was entirely lost in thought.

She tried to ease back into conversation, "How's Best Friends Windows doing?"

Eddie snapped back into reality with her question. "It's great. We've had so many big orders come in that we've had to hire Ikey and Ronnie full time. It's intense being responsible for their paychecks, but Nick and I have fallen into a steady routine. He's really good at the back of the house paperwork and business stuff and I'm better at the actual project logistics. We've even begun paying ourselves for the first time this year. I'm making money again! Even though winter slows down a bit, we are still on track to have some money in the bank this spring."

Janet was elated for him. "I'm so glad. I always knew you and Nick would be successful."

"You're right. You did. You were the one who convinced me that Nick's crazy plan could actually work. I'm so glad you did." Eddie smiled genuinely. He WAS glad she had convinced him. He had been really confused and during that time, Janet had been so supportive. If he was being honest with himself, she had really been the most supportive person he'd ever known.

"What else is new? Planning any trips or anything soon?" Eddie knew he shouldn't have asked. He knew it wasn't any of his business if Janet went to visit that mystery man in NY. He shouldn't care. BUT he did. He had to know.

"Um, nothing really. Just school, hanging out with the girls, the usual. No trips to speak of. Maybe go see my grandparents. I was thinking a trip to NY could be fun too. I haven't been there since I was a girl."

Talking about her grands made her sad. She and Eddie had been there together. She brought up NY just to change the subject.

Eddie looked crestfallen. She was going there to see him. "So you are seeing that guy I saw you with at Sully's? The one from New York." He was trying to keep his face as neutral as possible.

"The who?—What guy?" Janet was really confused.

"No, it's fine. It's cool. I don't care." Eddie tried to recover.

"Eddie, I don't know what you're talking—OH." It hit Janet: TRACE. Her little "fun" with Trace during girl's night out.

Eddie was trying as hard as he could to seem nonchalant and unaffected. Instead his words came out tinged with anger. "Janet, I don't give a rat's ass who you're seeing. Truly. Go out with the whole town. I don't care anymore."

"Then why are you being such an ass?" Janet was pissed. She was done letting people walk on her. In that instant she decided what part four of her plan was: standing up for herself. No matter what.

"I'm an ass? I'm an ass? I don't think so." Eddie was so angry. How dare she? He looked over at her.

It all happened so quickly that Eddie barely registered what was happening. He saw Janet's hurt face, the tears well up in her eyes. His first reaction was to reach out to her. He then realized the car was skidding and sliding around on the road. He tried to correct with steering wheel. He over compensated and the truck began spinning in the other direction, through the guardrail, down the slope…

"EDDIE! The tree!" Janet screamed.


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for the delay…. This is a short chapter and it ends kind of abruptly, but I didn't want to keep you all waiting too much longer. I will be back with more shortly.

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Cold and dark. It was freezing cold and nighttime. For about ten seconds Eddie couldn't figure out where he was. His truck. He was in his truck. With Janet. Fighting. They had been fighting.

"Janet? JANET? Are you OK?" Eddie frantically reached over to the passenger side of the cab to feel for her.

It took about 30 seconds for her to answer. "Eddie? I'm OK." Janet found his hand between them. Janet couldn't believe how badly her head hurt. "Did we hit the tree?"

"Yeah. I tried to slow down and miss it, but I couldn't steer the truck." His voice was low and raspy.

"Eddie, are you OK? Are you hurt?" Her eyes were adjusting to the darkness and she could see him pretty clearly now. He looked OK, but it was really hard to see him behind the airbag.

"I think I'm fine. I hit my head on the window, but I'm not bleeding or anything. I'm going to have a huge goose egg, though." He smiled faintly. "What about you?"

"I think I hit my head on the dashboard." Janet reached up to her forehead and felt something wet. "I'm bleeding."

"Oh my God. Hold on, let me look at you." Eddie was out of his seatbelt, across the middle seat and next to her in what seemed like an instant.

"I'm fine. I'm fine, it's just a little cut." Eddie lifted his hand to touch her head. Janet jumped about five feet into the air when she felt his fingers touch her. She was surprised, sensitive and delighted all at once.

She said quietly as she looked into his eyes, "I'm fine."

Janet took the moment to stretch out her legs and arms. Everything else seemed fine, although she suspected that she would be really sore over the next couple days. Of course that was assuming she and Eddie could get out of the truck and make it home. Where the hell were they? They had been on the highway, and then in a moment…not.

Eddie knew what she was thinking. "I have no idea where we are Janet. Do you have your cell phone with you?"

"I do. It's in my pocket." Janet pulled her phone out of her pant pocket. She tried to turn it on. Nothing. She tried again. Still blank.

Eddie watched her intently. "It's wet." He said when she finally stopped trying.

"Humph. Well, who's fault is that?" Her previous anger bubbled to the surface.

"Shut up Janet." Eddie said it with a smile, but she could tell he meant it. "O—kay."

"My phone's battery is dead, so there's no way we're calling for help. Let me see if I can start the truck." Eddie turned the key in the ignition. No response.

Janet shivered. If she was being honest, she was starting to get a little scared.

He looked at her and saw the fear in her face. He knew she had to be freezing sitting in those wet clothes in the cold truck. He saw her eyes well up with tears.

"Janet. JANET, look at me. We're going to be fine. Someone will come looking for us. I'm going to hop out of the truck for a second and look around. See if I can tell where we are. "

She nodded for a second and then opened mouth, "NO. Don't leave me."

"You'll be OK. It will just be for a few minutes. I promise." Eddie grabbed for the door. He looked back at her and gave her the most reassuring smile he could. "Two minutes."

As he opened the door he was shocked by draft of cold air. Janet shivered even harder as it hit her.

Eddie jumped down from his truck. He knew he couldn't be out for too long if he wanted to stay safe, but he wanted to see if he could see any landmarks. He didn't know what he was expecting being down an embankment on the side of the road, but it was worth trying. Eddie also thought if he could get up to the road, he might be able to signal for help. He walked around the side of the truck and surveyed the scene before him. Nothing. No structures, light or anything. Just snow, dark and trees. He made his way around the other side of the truck and tried to walk back towards the highway. He got about five feet and looked up. There was absolutely no way he was going to make it back up to the road. It was far too steep in all the snow and ice. Eddie shivered. He had to get into the truck. Even if he could wander around and find a way back to the road, he knew Janet was in no shape to run around with him. They would have to sit tight until someone came looking for them.

Janet had never been so cold in her life. No exaggeration or embellishing, her wet clothes were freezing while she was still wearing them. She stared talking to herself, "Hold it together Janet. You're fine. Eddie's here, someone will come for us soon." She centered herself and felt a bit better.

Eddie opened his door. "Fucking A, it's cold out there. I told you I would be right back."

"Did you see anything?"

"Nothing. I don't think we'll be able to get back to the road. I think we need to stay here tonight and hope someone comes looking for us."

"OK. I guess." She didn't want him to see how scared she was. She was strong Janet after all. She shivered involuntarily.

"Janet, we have to get you out of your wet clothes. You need to warm up."

She gave him a crooked smile, "Is this an elaborate ploy to get me naked, Eddie, because there are easier ways, I think you know that."

He grinned for a split second and then looked at her very seriously. "No Janet, that's the farthest thing from my mind, I promise you."

Janet recoiled. "Well that stung", she thought.

"What am I going to wear?"

"I don't know. The warmest thing in this truck is us. I think we have to huddle together."

She nodded slightly. Janet began stripping her layers off. First her coat, then her sweater. She laid them over the back of the seat. She knew that her tank top was soaked through too, but was hesitant to take it off.

Eddie leaned over the back of the seat and dug around in the back. He flipped back around and had a plaid blanket in his hands.

Janet was relieved. "Where did that come from?"

"It's been in here since Christmas Eve last year. I guess I never had the heart to take it out." He said sadly.

Janet vividly remembered wrapping the blanket around her shoulders last year while she snuggled up next to him. She thought about how funny it was that she had relished the cold that night. It had given her an excuse to get close to him. Lean in and enjoy his warmth. Times had definitely changed.

To be continued!!


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